Many people are intimidated by negotiating, but negotiation is a fact of life.

You must negotiate to be successful.  Virtually everything is negotiable.  If you’re timid about negotiating, you are shortchanging yourself.

Negotiating should not be a contest of wills where the powerful win and the little guy doesn’t have a chance.  This may gain short term results, but it is a win-lose process.  It does not have to be that way.

An effective negotiation is one that results in both sides having their needs met and preserving the relationship at the same time.

In its fullest sense, negotiating develops long term relationships and mutual respect for both sides, not hard-sell tactics.

How we negotiate demonstrates our respect for the other party and our commitment  to maintaining that relationship.

Good negotiators understand how to identify what the other party needs, how to meet those needs, and how to get what they want at the same time.

Often we get bad advice about hard-nosed negotiating tactics, when in reality, the most successful negotiators demonstrate style and grace under pressure, which is something people on the other side of table remember and appreciate.

In business we’re involved in one negotiation after the other.  It may be raising money, leasing space or equipment, hiring, buying something, or selling something.  Recognize the process for what it is, or you’ll miss opportunities to get better deals.

Use these principles to create win/win outcomes for your next deal:

• Be Prepared – Every negotiation requires planning, preparation, and practice.  Do the necessary research.  Think out possible and probable outcomes.  Rehearse what you will say.  Set goals.  Have an agenda and stick closely to it.  Be rested; long negotiations—or short stressful ones—can be tiring.  Fatigue robs you of clear thinking.

• Know your bottom line – Determine what you want before you get to the table and be prepared to articulate your goals clearly.

• Know what you wish for, but you can do without.

• Know what you want, and you must have.

• Know your bottom line; this is what you will walk away from – If you know what you wish for, what you want, and what you’ll walk away from, you will always negotiate from a position of strength. Set your goals high enough.  No offer is too high provided you can present valid justifications that meet the underlying needs of all parties.  You can’t expect to make a deal without making concessions, so start high.  The more you start with, the more you’ll end up with in the end.

• Know Your Audience – Assess the person you’re negotiating with.  Adopt the appropriate communication style.  It can be critical to achieving your desired outcome.  Be sure you’re negotiating with the person who has the power to make the final decision.  

• Listen and Acknowledge – The role of a good negotiator is to listen and understand what others are saying.  Listening gathers information vital to your understanding what the other person needs.  You can’t meet someone’s needs if you don’t understand them.

• Avoid Emotions – Negotiations is a game, but it is a process that can deeply involve our egos and emotions.  If you become emotionally attached to an outcome, it will be harder for you to achieve it.  Some negotiators try intentionally make your angry, because then you can’t think straight.  Stay calm.  Not become offended.  Separate the people from the issues.  Knowing your bottom line and remaining calm allows you to stay focused on what you want.  Let others blow off steam, but keep yours in check.

• Be Prepared To Walk Away – Always be able detach yourself from the situation and walk away.  Control always remains with the person who needs the deal the least.  When you care the least, you have the most power.

• Negotiate In Good Faith – Remind yourself at the beginning and throughout that you want this agreement to work satisfactorily for everyone involved.  You will get what you want if you help the other party get what they want.  Let them air their feelings, make comments, present objections, and feel comfortable telling you what’s on their mind.  Only then will all parties come to the table and leave the table with good faith.

•  Be Patient – Cultivate the use of a calculated hesitation.  The best answer to any offer is “it depends.”  Don’t commit to early.  The other party has three choices: accept your offer, reject your offer, or make a counteroffer.  You have the same choices.  Don’t make concessions before they answer.  Don’t be afraid of the silence.  Sometimes its good to walk away, and let the think about it.  But never walk away angry.

Like anything you do, negotiating gets easier the more you do it.  With practice you’ll develop you own style.  

Negotiating can be fun, empowering, and enjoyable, but it works only if everyone feels as if they won.

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What are your thoughts?  Do you agree or disagree?  Leave your comments in the box below. 

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